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motifake

Carl Demotivational Poster


FLAMETHROWER -


TAGS: fire soldier war george carlin
Rating: 4.98/5

More motifakes by forseti

tomyironmane - July 27, 2013, 11:34 am
"That's nice, but where do you put the bayonet?" --Gen. Lewis Burwell Puller, USMC, upon seeing a flamethrower for the first time.
ub3rchief - February 18, 2012, 8:16 pm
Truly one of the funniest people to have ever lived... and a very true statement XD


THE GLARE -


TAGS: michelle obama carla bruni sarkozy glare
Rating: 3.53/5

More motifakes by jake

caddyman - August 15, 2010, 6:23 am
Showing her true colours there, isn't she?
Justice_falls - October 27, 2009, 7:00 pm
She's what we call "The Intern"...
Helena - August 31, 2009, 6:32 am
holy ****. thats one hateful glare.


Carlin Thinks -




ZOMBIE OCCUPY -


TAGS: carlin classes scarey
Rating: 4.28/5

More motifakes by Reality Lord

thecrotchetyoldcynic - June 6, 2013, 12:13 pm
I was actually thinking if posting this very quote, but I didn't know what picture to use. This one is positively perfect. 5L + faved.


COUNTERFEIT MONEY -


TAGS: george carlin line collection plate
Rating: 3.92/5

More motifakes by rudeboy308

440wakeup - October 4, 2011, 4:27 am
been done b4 but with strip clubs


CARLOS SANTANA - No matter how hard you practice. Or how good you think you are. You'll NEVER be as awesome as this guy.


TAGS: carlos santana guitar awesome
Rating: 2.79/5

More motifakes by RebelYell

nicholsjoshua15 - February 13, 2013, 6:24 pm
Carlos Santana, no mate how good of a guitarist he is his songs still suck a*s.
TwistedNinjaPirate - March 10, 2011, 10:22 pm
I rate it lowly because its true


DISCRETION -


TAGS: discretion avengers scarlett renner
Rating: 4.48/5

More motifakes by Inglourious

sharebear - March 16, 2013, 4:22 am
lol
carebear - March 21, 2012, 2:25 pm
(carebear BANNED)
maoworks2 - March 21, 2012, 7:22 am
I Love The Pic 5L


DAMMIT CARL - I thought I told you to stay in the house.




MARRIAGE - "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?




My Favorite Stoner -


TAGS: carl sagan astronomer author pothead
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by BobbEdwards

Cannabal - August 27, 2013, 5:05 pm
5 fat doobies.
curlyrocks - August 27, 2013, 3:53 pm
I had no proof till now, but I always knew that guy was super stoned, to see how much fun he had in the space ship set in Cosmos, man I want to get high in a room like that.


CARLIN - George Carlin is considered by millions to be a Genius.... Thank God he didnt prove us wrong by becoming President.


TAGS: george carlin
Rating: 4.81/5

More motifakes by voodoo3535

voodoo3535 - February 21, 2011, 8:12 pm
He most certainly will.
Unclebark - February 20, 2011, 10:19 pm
He is missed.


I PUT A DOLLAR IN A CHANGE MACHINE. - Nothing changed.


TAGS: carlin looking for change
Rating: 4.36/5

More motifakes by spanko1

holymoly - February 1, 2012, 5:02 pm
love it spank.... Keep pumping in the cash and eventually your checking account should change... 5 broke lions 4 u


pale blue dot -


TAGS: carl sagan pale blue dot
Rating: 4.7/5

More motifakes by Krickit

Krickit - April 18, 2013, 10:27 am
His camera must of had a telescopic lens
EmilioDumphque - April 18, 2013, 10:18 am
Where was the guy standing who took this picture of "our world"?
Greeny - April 18, 2013, 5:34 am
I never could figure out what kind of accent he had


POLICE - They're not ALL pepper-spray brandishing d-bags I hope you're taking notes Occupy Wallstreet Cops




GEORGE CARLIN - The Man Who Told You The 7 Dirty Words


TAGS: george carlin
Rating: 3.21/5

More motifakes by Nick

Briton of Rose - October 22, 2009, 4:02 am
Excuse me, WTFO, but the proper order is: "****, Piss, ****, f***, ****sucker, m**********r, t***, Fart, Turd, and Twat." I've heard that segment too many times to count.
WTFO - October 21, 2009, 8:27 pm
Reason, you got the order wrong, bud. It's ****, f***, piss,****, ****sucker, m**********r and t***. Later he added fart, turd and twat.
Reason - October 21, 2009, 6:38 pm
****, Piss, ****, ****sucker, f***, m**********r, t***


Carlin on Religion -




motivation -


TAGS: george carlin can motivate anyone in a heartbeat
Rating: 4.86/5

More motifakes by thecrotchetyoldcynic

thecrotchetyoldcynic - August 20, 2013, 2:22 am
I've been told that before, lol. I think Carlin was going aiming for people who WANT don't feel motivated, but don't do anything to GET motivated; basically, they have to DO something too.
thecrotchetyoldcynic - August 20, 2013, 2:19 am
Yes, this is true. But as long as it doesn't last for longer than an hour.
Iconoclast - August 19, 2013, 5:09 pm
My doctor says "Afternoon naps are a GOOD thing." So the MOTIVATION here is to do what the Doctor advises.
mariand - August 19, 2013, 2:59 pm
bwahahahaha... you could be called theRUDEoldcinic for this one ;)


WE ARE ALL MAD -




CARL'S JR. - You cannot suceed, if at first you suffer failure and do not respond in kind.


TAGS: carl s jr burgerosity
Rating: 3.63/5

More motifakes by bOB cHIN

Airman - January 7, 2011, 5:30 pm
I had forgotten all about this one LMAO!
lesterinside - January 26, 2010, 12:47 am
LMAO.
Musashi - January 26, 2010, 12:24 am
Can't breathe.... laughing too hard.
Dr.Quirky - November 4, 2009, 6:39 pm
most excellent. if this mythical burger exists im sure it could be used to dispell greenpeace protests
rogueagent - September 6, 2009, 3:01 pm
I want that burger.
Reality Lord - August 29, 2009, 6:47 am

now you have to ask yourself. real or fake? truth is its creative and funny as hell if its fake. but its one of those "oh my f'ing god. this guy is my hero. he gets a five star on my reality scale....and its even funnier than hell! loved it!
Airman - August 28, 2009, 4:52 pm
1/2 hour later, I'm still laughing. 5
Lex - August 28, 2009, 3:22 pm
5 vomiting lions!
BoneCD - August 28, 2009, 3:15 pm
Love it! 5 Poodles


SANDRA + SCARLETT - The kiss that lauched a billion hard-ons.


TAGS: sandra bullock scarlett johannson mtv movie awards kiss kisses kissing
Rating: 3.26/5

More motifakes by sanitizer

angelous - November 7, 2010, 8:28 pm
hey!, calm down, you're not making any friends here. Banned, don't you?, LOL. I give you an advice: don't be a cry baby buddy, face the criticism and move along.
rerun - June 9, 2010, 7:56 pm

wow, I see this fine individual was banned twice today. that may be a record.
TheTrashHeap - June 9, 2010, 2:31 pm
This is why parents need to monitor their kids online activities! Maybe once sanitizer gets his big boy hair he will be able to surf the web unsup***ised.
thatonechick - June 9, 2010, 11:45 am
It takes some talent to get all the mods after your a**.
Airman - June 9, 2010, 11:43 am
what a fun morning here at the clubhouse!
R.S.Jake - June 9, 2010, 11:32 am
Me? No, well maybe just a little...Oh, you mean the douchenozzle? Yeah probably...
Mooooooooooooooooooo - June 9, 2010, 11:30 am
What?....are you huffing glue?
R.S.Jake - June 9, 2010, 11:29 am
Oh my gosh! I posted something on the interwebs and can't stand it if someone doesn't like it ! Oh Noes!
Mooooooooooooooooooo - June 9, 2010, 11:24 am
It is our business, You're the idiot that posted such crap here and then couldn't take any criticism.
Mooooooooooooooooooo - June 9, 2010, 11:22 am
Ha! you're pathetic. We don't fall for the troll game around here. We'll just have a good laugh at your expense.
thatonechick - June 9, 2010, 11:21 am
Copy!
sanitizer - June 9, 2010, 11:21 am
Mooooooooooooooooooo: Shut the hell up and mind your own business! mike34: Shut the hell up and mind your own business!
Mooooooooooooooooooo - June 9, 2010, 11:13 am
We already tried that...Now we make fun of his parentage.
thatonechick - June 9, 2010, 11:12 am
LoL @ mike34
mike34 - June 9, 2010, 11:11 am
Dude, you really need to take some pills. If you really didn't care about them, why would you answer? Just hear them and make the next poster better. 1L for the poster 5l for making me laugh at your comments.
sanitizer - June 9, 2010, 8:48 am
No. Just mind your own d*** business, that is if you can pull yourself away from raping babies for more than five seconds, ya' sick baby-raping creep!
TheTrashHeap - June 9, 2010, 8:07 am
Looks like we have a new moronic mouthpiece in our midst! What's the matter sanitizer? Did your mommy threaten to kick you out of her basement?
sanitizer - June 9, 2010, 7:46 am
No. You accept that no one cares if you're not impressed. Don't air your apathy here! Oh, and like you know how to clean up your own ****.
culos - June 9, 2010, 7:29 am
@Rerun: sanitizer does not equal sanity. I guess it's a fancy word for janitor.... Don't expect him to fully understand your comment...
rerun - June 9, 2010, 6:28 am

sanitizer - it is called criticism, learn to accept it and move on
sanitizer - June 9, 2010, 5:41 am
Nobody cares if your not impressed. Keep your non-impressiveness to yourself.
rerun - June 8, 2010, 8:44 pm

this reminds me of the 99 bottles of beer song, make it 999,999,998
agdaniele - June 8, 2010, 8:42 pm
Make that 999,999,999 hard-ons. Not impressed.


HIGH HOPES -




WORST DOCTOR - yada yada yada putting words ehre


TAGS: doctor funny comedy i was bored and listening to george carlin while searching google randomly
Rating: 3/5

More motifakes by Joshy8632

Iseult2 - February 8, 2012, 9:31 pm
TARDIS stands for Time And Relative Dimensions in Space, and its camouflage mechanism got stuck in that shape, as a Police Public Telephone Box with a nonfunctional phone in the time period when those were common and he never got around to fixing it.
Me_ - January 4, 2010, 4:56 pm
So what is with all the plain looking females side kicks?
Bartimaeus - January 3, 2010, 2:10 pm
They should have tried that with Daren from Bewitched. lol
Joshy8632 - January 3, 2010, 2:08 pm
You see each time the "Doctor" get seriously injured he has to regenerate and in doing so he takes on a new form and personality. Talk about flawless story telling in my opinion.
Joshy8632 - January 3, 2010, 2:08 pm
Actually 2 hearts. And yes he's a Time Lord AKA time traveller who uses a TARDIS (It's looks like a phone booth) to travel through time. ANd come to think of it David Tennant is no longer Dr. Who. Since Jan 1st it's Matt Smith now.
Bartimaeus - January 3, 2010, 2:03 pm
That's badass. lol Makes me wish I had watched the show. Isn't that the one where the guy is a time traveler with like four hearts?
Joshy8632 - January 3, 2010, 1:59 pm
It's David Tennant the guy that plays Doctor Who in the new remake. It's a double joke for Dr. Who fans.
Bartimaeus - January 3, 2010, 1:34 pm
The empty space at the bottom kinda threw me off, but that's a great Carlin quote...and the pictured gentleman seems to be holding a probe of some kind. 4.5/5 If I could get these lions to cooperate...f*** it, I'll round up.


DISNEY JOES - If Jerry Bruckheimer was doing the G.I. Joe movie...




George Wasn't an Idiot -


TAGS: carlin richard pryor
Rating: 2.09/5

More motifakes by SuperSparky

saucerhead - June 22, 2009, 10:29 am
actually he did, but richard did it twice
M & M - December 26, 2008, 3:42 pm
He was a sad dope head.


CARLOS MENCIA - The only real "Dee-Dee-Dee"


TAGS: carlos mencia dee anders almquist
Rating: 2.02/5

More motifakes by Anders

Akyoyo - September 3, 2008, 1:34 am
No, no, it's more of a Gorilla Glue thing. Like what they had to do to Tee-tee-tee's brain when they saw it fall to "Nothimg".
Motifake Wit Liberation Front - August 30, 2008, 1:22 am
He 'steels' them? Does he steel plate them or is it more affixing and welding large sheets of steel all over them?
Tee-tee-tee - August 29, 2008, 7:41 pm
Whats wrong with Carlos? Other than the fact that he steels jokes? Nothimg.
datnigga - June 30, 2008, 1:14 am
wow, whoever made this poster is a real p****. what's wrong, does carlos mencia make your p**** hurt?


The smallest coffins are the heaviest -


TAGS: miss carla six word stories smallest coffin heaviest
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by Rick69

MissPriss - August 4, 2014, 2:00 am
Kind of here...longer than a 6 word story ...hope to be back soon.
EmilioDumphque - August 3, 2014, 3:59 pm
Then who the hell could that be? Not Sybie, and probably not Georgie. Ah, maybe Edith's bastard, being raised by the farmer. It's practically a newborn. But Georgie dying would throw the inheritance into doubt again.
Rick69 - August 3, 2014, 10:35 am
I try...
GaryO - August 3, 2014, 9:59 am
Meant the ‘Miss Carla’ ref. Nice try at evasive ambiguity, though.
Rick69 - August 3, 2014, 8:19 am
Huh, hope that's not the case. Last poster I made was over 3 months ago. Things get in the way of the internet. Regulars always tend to return.
Silverheart - August 3, 2014, 8:03 am

Why is Carla tagged? Is she really gone for good?
Rick69 - August 3, 2014, 5:33 am
It is a story consisting of 6 words. Hence, 6-word-stories. There are more.
Rick69 - August 3, 2014, 5:32 am
Good eye, it is a screen-grab from that very show... I think. I've never seen the show but the site where I got the picture confirms your thought.
Greybeard - August 2, 2014, 10:57 pm
6 tiny words that say so much. Powerfully sad.
EmilioDumphque - August 2, 2014, 10:34 pm
Looks like Thomas Barrow! Is this a spoiler for the next season of Downton Abbey?
GaryO - August 2, 2014, 9:41 pm
I must ask, what’s with the tag ref, sir Rick?


SPONGEBOB SQUARE PANTS - "You know, if I were to die right now, in some sort of fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend... well, that would just be ok." - SBSP




GEORGE CARLIN - Best comedian EVER. Enough said. R.I.P.


TAGS: george carlin dead
Rating: 3.41/5

More motifakes by amy

Hippopotosaurus - November 24, 2009, 2:00 pm
R.I.P a true legend of comedy. I recently watch from his first stand up tour till his last and he will be missed. we lost a true comedy genius. 5L's.
dude - October 19, 2009, 1:34 pm
to noxterran. he didnt want to be buried, he wanted to be blown up.
whatever - September 25, 2009, 3:41 pm
RIP. he was a douchebag to people like you with an IQ < 90
lol - September 21, 2009, 10:50 am
he was a douche bag
NoxTerran - August 18, 2009, 9:24 am
i am curious to see if they actually burried him like he wanted, face down
King Logicass - May 19, 2009, 11:02 am
To the dumbass who thinks its funny to proclaim that George is in hell. This man is the reason we have the humor of today. He would go to lows that was needed to bring about true humor. May he R.I.P. with his a** up so everyone else could truly kiss it!
George Carlin - January 12, 2009, 4:45 am
I'm in hell. It sucks.
Zed - December 5, 2008, 7:18 pm
G.C. wouldn't know funny if it bit his testicles off and spit them back into his face.
G.C. - September 15, 2008, 6:40 pm
Dope head, not funny.
ErikVKing - September 2, 2008, 11:15 am
Agreed, R.I.P. and may God split his sides open by letting you in!
ME - July 17, 2008, 5:19 am
yeaa..
He11Kn1ght - July 10, 2008, 3:57 pm
I love that ph**o of him.
KDP3 - July 3, 2008, 9:07 pm
R.I.P.
Brett - July 3, 2008, 6:45 pm
He'd laugh if we were to say that his final words were: "****, piss, ****, f***, ****sucker, m**********r, and t***."
Chris - July 3, 2008, 1:50 pm
Amen... Joe bless him.


SCARLETT - is my new favorite color


TAGS: scarlett
Rating: 2.67/5

More motifakes by guyfox



Children -


TAGS: children cult objects unhealthy george carlin enough is enough
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by thecrotchetyoldcynic

Sho - September 6, 2013, 11:08 am
I guess some women really like going through labor and childbirth
thecrotchetyoldcynic - September 5, 2013, 8:23 pm
Nice.
EmilioDumphque - September 5, 2013, 8:04 pm
"We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart." – H. L. Mencken


it's important -




Telling Time -




Resaganrun -


TAGS: ruren carl sagan bologna sandwich
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by Greeny

ughomer - September 9, 2014, 7:11 am
One of the best pokes at Rerun, Greeny!
rerun - September 6, 2014, 2:08 pm

d***, I look good in a suit
MissPriss - September 6, 2014, 1:42 pm
Ahhh Rerun...it'll be cold soon and like the walking dead, we will move on to another body soon enough...teehee. 5L'd the poster Mr. Greeny


Who? ... Me?? ... -




Freaks -




Life -


TAGS: g carlin quote backwards doing it wrong
Rating: 5/5

More motifakes by MissPriss

MissPriss - March 31, 2014, 3:52 pm
Thanks crotchety. But can't take all the credit...George helped a little ;)
thecrotchetyoldcynic - March 31, 2014, 1:04 am
Wow, this is fantastic! 5L + faved
MissPriss - December 9, 2013, 12:56 am
Okay that reply just blew my imagine of you right out the door...lmao.
MissPriss - December 9, 2013, 12:54 am
Oh I bet you wish...would make for some incredible poster material...teehee.
JesusWept - December 8, 2013, 5:04 pm
...and go back in the sack? LOL
Sho - December 8, 2013, 10:07 am
Do we start as a rotting corpse?


Assumptions -


TAGS: george carlin april 15 where to stick it
Rating: 4.86/5

More motifakes by thecrotchetyoldcynic

steve1961 - April 12, 2014, 12:00 am
That was during Prohibition...Things are calmer now...
thecrotchetyoldcynic - April 11, 2014, 11:26 pm
Good God! Why is it in the U.S. it seems like the first offense: the FBI breaks down your door and arrests everyone including Grandma?!?
Airman - April 11, 2014, 11:18 pm
pay a penalty, not be a penalty
Airman - April 11, 2014, 11:17 pm
I went through this a couple of years ago.. I got 1099'd on some income that was a surprise. If you don't respond to their letters, they will garnish your wages. Just call them, set up a payment plan. You will be a penalty and interest, but they will help
steve1961 - April 11, 2014, 10:41 pm
the primary goal.
steve1961 - April 11, 2014, 10:41 pm
Depending on length of time, you are charged interest on money owing. There is a "payment" plan available to people who need to pay in installments. I doubt criminal charges would happen except in extreme cases of proven tax evasion since getting money is
rerun - April 11, 2014, 9:40 pm

Probably get a fine for being late, possible criminal charges if they think you forgot "intentionally"
thecrotchetyoldcynic - April 11, 2014, 8:49 pm
Now this next question is just as genuine as my previous ones: what if you owe, not aware and don't file?
steve1961 - April 11, 2014, 6:01 pm
None...if you are getting a refund...
thecrotchetyoldcynic - April 11, 2014, 5:14 pm
Curious, what is the penalty for filing late in Canada?
MissPriss - April 11, 2014, 11:15 am
Haven't started mine either. The hold up? Waiting to hear back from 2 government agencies for T5's & the online Canada Revenue filing site is down due to some virus. Promise! This year I was gonna to file on time...teehee.
thecrotchetyoldcynic - April 10, 2014, 11:57 pm
Same here.
lgvernon - April 10, 2014, 12:35 pm

I haven't even started mine, yet.


Self-Help Books -


TAGS: george carlin self help books
Rating: 4.82/5

More motifakes by Cannabal

Cannabal - August 23, 2013, 9:31 pm
Always ;)
thecrotchetyoldcynic - August 23, 2013, 12:03 pm
It's pretty good. Well done. George Carlin started off his last show by saying, "F**k Doctor Phil." Lol. He would have been proud of you, Cannibal... Very proud. Keep up the good work.
Cannabal - August 23, 2013, 4:27 am
I felt this would go great with the motivation poster.
thecrotchetyoldcynic - August 23, 2013, 12:06 am
Love that George Carlin. He was a pure genius. 5L for posting one of my faves of his.... and the picture too. ROFLOL!


I COULD BECOME ALCOHOLIC... -




DEATH - I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.




Our Differences -




RELIGION - I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.


TAGS: carlin religion snake handling church
Rating: 4.2/5

More motifakes by voodoo3535

twill1962 - October 17, 2012, 6:21 pm
"Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God." Luke 4:12.


POPULARIZED SCIENCE - The wonderment continues...




CHAOS - I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.




HOUSES -


TAGS: life time human nature architect home place stuff joke carlin
Rating: 3.29/5

More motifakes by giulio

Sean - October 20, 2009, 10:46 pm
A quote is just somthin' someone else said because you were totally incapable of coming up with some passable verbiage of your own ... even with no time constraints whatsoever.


CATCH PHRASES -


TAGS: carlos mencia not funny comic hispanic
Rating: 2.68/5

More motifakes by OhQueso

You guys - June 18, 2009, 7:05 pm
So true, Carlos Mencia is just not funny


CARL -




HOLY CRAP - Carl's JR.




MOVIN' RIGHT ALONG... - The only way Carlyle can transition from one movie to another.




CARLYLE - Defender of otakus on Spill.com (Even he thinks there should be an LEOG anime episode!)




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